How to Suck at Airbnb Hosting

All great Airbnb hosts share some things in common, but those who suck do so in many ways.

airbnb hosting

If you want to suck at Airbnb hosting, follow these simple steps.

Have a Sucky Profile — do all these things to make sure you have the worst host profile ever.

Have a Sucky Description — design a user profile that is so hard to read and so confusing and so full of lies you’re sure to scare potential guests away from booking with you.

Have Sucky Photos — nothing like having photos that is hardly visible and shows your unit at its worse.

Have a Sucky Title — make sure your title is the most boring it could be so it does not attract any attention in the search results.

Have Sucky Reviews — don’t do any of these things to get good reviews for your unit.

Have Sucky Pricing — so you are sure to leave money on the table and not get the rents your unit could achieve.

Be a Sucky Neighbor — make sure your neighbors hate you so they can report you you to your landlord whom you’ve been lying to about hosting

Don’t Get Landlord Approval — just go behind your landlords back and pray for the best.  Then threaten to squat as soon as they find out.

Ignore Your Competition — who cares what other people are offering or charging and screw those who care to find better units at better prices.

Do Everything Yourself — even the most time consuming things that you suck at because saving a few dollars is more important than saving a few hours.

Rent to Shady Guests — pick out those who no history and who keep asking you to handle payments off of Airbnb.  In fact, say yes only if they intend to squat in your unit.

Have 100% Occupancy One Year Out — if you have to rent out a night for just $1 a night, do it so you don’t have an empty night on your calendar.

Don’t Pay Attention to Special Events — when the biggest conference of the century is in your town, make sure to book your unit out 3 months in advance at the lowest possible rates.

Be One of These Shitty Hosts — look for every opportunity to screw your guests over by being like this.


If you follow all, or any, of the advice above, you’re almost guaranteed to suck at Airbnb hosting.  You’ll make sure to make the least amount of money while maximizing your exposure to risk.

Or you could do exactly the opposite.

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